So, I know I keep saying that I don’t know what I’m going to be doing next week, let alone next year, but this post will hopefully help me get my thoughts into some kind of order. Also, I can see it being a source of amusement when I look at it next year and think – seriously Sarah, maybe you could have had more adventures if you didn’t spend all your money on crack*.
So, I thought I might insert a picture of my life right now:
As you can see I’m in a horrible place and terribly unhappy…
But maybe that’s one of the reasons that’s keeping me from making any concrete decisions. I am happy here. Bored stiff when I don’t have uni on, and lacking an internet connection that would make gaming viable, but still, I have my gardening, I have the beach. And basically no friends, no one to talk to. Sure, I get weekly phonecalls from my parents (although they really just want to make sure that I haven’t completely demolished the house). To be fair, I have managed to destroy quite a bit (how do you break an oven? email me for instructions). I also talk to my sister and various friends, sometimes on the phone, mostly through Facebook.
I have an acquaintance here in Gympie, and I occasionally have coffee with him and his wife. He bitches about his first mentor (he’s also studying teaching), and I brag about mine. To be fair, I had an amazing mentor, and his sounded like a total biatch. I really enjoyed my prac, really enjoyed the teaching, but still not sure it’s for me. All the teachers I talked to seemed so responsible and settled down. Maybe I’m not mature enough to be teaching yet? Luckily for me I have enough money still saved up, which gives me the freedom to ‘postpone real life’ for a while. Of course, many travellers would argue that travelling is the only way to really live 🙂
Meanwhile the lives of everyone I know are solidifying, or it seems they are. What does it say that 95% of my friends are married/have children/own (or are planning to own in the near future) their own home?
On the other hand, there are all these people I know who have these grand plans of what they would like to do, if they had the money… I have the money, but seem to be lacking the grand plans… Or maybe not lacking, but the fear of doing it, which is more pervasive because I could actually do it. Tomorrow in fact.
Maybe that’s partly why I’m currently entertaining the idea of going to Korea to teach English for a year, because there are all these obstacles in the way. I hear these days, a lot of the applicants have teaching degrees already! The question is also, do I really want to spend a whole year in Korea? The language is really hard. I love their alphabet, but the actual Korean language, how it’s said and written and romanized, is really hard. This is ‘hello’: Annyeonghaseyo (an-young-ha-sae-yo). Looks like I’ll be smiling and waving a lot.
Which reminds me, if I want to have even a chance at getting a job, I should do a TEFL course, which opens up a whole other can of worms. I’d like to do CELTA, which people tell me is actually worth the paper it’s written on, but apparently it doesn’t mean that much in Asia. Also, apparently it’s a really stressful workload. I don’t know if I want that much stress for a whole month. So I’m looking at 5 week courses, instead of the traditional 4 week ones. I also need to juggle my current degree with the addition of the TEFL course, and somehow make sure I spend the end of November with my friend Jodi, be available for my sister if she needs me in December and spend Christmas with the family in Gympie.
So yeah, again I’m not complaining about anything justifiable, this is just my ‘process’, which I happen to make pubic to all of you. If I don’t, then I end up wondering ‘who am I actually writing this for’, and my thoughts start to drift towards pretty white jackets.
As always, thanks for reading this far. Visualising somebody (anybody?) reading this blog makes it much more interesting to write for 🙂
*I don’t actually smoke crack, but one could be forgiven for thinking I do.